Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Found the puke drawer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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