I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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