I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
