This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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