He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
