True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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