He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
