Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
