Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
