is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
