I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
