i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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