Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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