Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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