I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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