So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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