it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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