Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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