My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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