He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
