Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just googled if crying burns calories
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
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