It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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