dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
