There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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