What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
