Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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