when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
