tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
