did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
