Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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