Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
