Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
