Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
