Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
try to milk me bitch
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