WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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