my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
