this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
