He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
