plz talk dirty to me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
