I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
