im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
