I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
