dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
