Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
