did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
