Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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