she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
