Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
