I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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