Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
