We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
